Reservoir Hedge
by Gipdac
Summary: Spoof of Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.
1. Chapter 1

Reservoir Hedge.

Prologue

RJ, Hammy, Ozzie, and Verne ran out of the house. Two humans chased them,  
swinging brooms at them. They jumped through the hedge, just as a broom almost hit them.

The group all looked at each other. Something had gone wrong, and it was no accident. RJ then said,"What the hell went wrong? We were doing fine, and had gathered up a bunch of food, when the humans appeared. We had gone over the plans,  
and they should not have been home today!"

"I just noticed something. The humans appeared when we had gathered up the food, as if they had been waiting for us" Ozzie said.

"But how could they have known? Unless...There's a rat."

"Who would try to stop us from gathering food?"

"I don't know, Ozzie. I don't know..."

Chapter 1

(Yesterday)

The group went over the plan, and memorized every bit of it. They would u-  
se code-names. RJ was Mr. White. Hammy was Mr. Pink. Ozzie was Mr. Blonde.  
And Verne was Mr. Orange.  
The plan was perfect. The humans would be gone that day, long enough for the group to steal enough food. They had already hotwired and shut down the secur-  
ity system, and could get in with no problems. The reason this heist was so serio-  
us was because this was the biggest house in the neighborhood, and was the only hou-  
se left to heist.  
They all knew what to do. RJ would go in the ventilation shafts. Hammy would get in through the chimney. Ozzie would guard the wagon. And Verne would pass the food to Ozzie. Nothing could go wrong...

Chapter 2

(Today, two hours ago)

The group prepared themselves as they began to put the plan into action.  
They pulled the wagon outside of the side window, and began their parts.

RJ climbed into the ventilation shaft. He quickly crawled through a straight tunn-  
el, and then came to a fork with two different tunnels. He chose left.  
RJ crawled through the tunnel, and then felt wind blowing on him. He craw-  
led farther up ahead, and was blown back as he noticed the fan, as it turned faster and faster, blowing RJ back the way he came. RJ turned around, and was heading for a dead end. He quickly tried to grab something, and finally sank his claws into t-  
he side sides of the vents, slowing him down. He pulled out one hand, and climbed slowly back to the fork of tunnels. This time he chose right.

RJ climbed through the tunnel, and found the opening in the wall. He clim-  
bed through it, and looked around. He was in a bedroom, and he ran out to the den and met up with Hammy.

Hammy climbed onto the roof, and climbed down the chimney. He got into the den, and began to wait for RJ.

When RJ arrived, they ran to the front door, and opened it, letting Verne in.  
They ran into the kitchen, and Verne stood by the window, tossing food out to Ozzie. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

(Today, 10 minutes ago)

The group tossed the last piece of food to Ozzie, and when the closed the refrigerator, they heard Ozzie scream. They looked out the window, and saw a woman chasing Ozzie away and then pull the wagon to the front door. Then, they turned around to run, when they saw a man with a broom aimed at them. He began swinging it at them, and they jumped out the window. The group began running to the hedge,  
as the man and woman chased them with brooms.

(Yesterday, two hours after planning)

Verne had to stop this. If he didn't, then his friends would get killed.  
He looked around. Everyone else was asleep, and he walked quietly to the house.

When Verne got inside, he snuck over to the computer, and began typing a me-  
ssage on it that said: There will be a robbery at your house today, so stay home and stop it.

After he finished the message, he snuck back to the hedge, and wondered if he had done the right thing...

Chapter 4

(Today, present time)

RJ & the others stared at each other again, and then Ozzie said,

"Wait. I saw Verne get up last night and walk over to the house."

Everyone stared at Verne, and RJ then said,

"No. Verne's my friend, and I know he wouldn't do that."

"I saw him!"

"You were dreaming."

"I'm telling you he's the one!"

"No he's not!"

Ozzie and Hammy decided Verne was the rat, and prepared to punish him, but RJ stood in front of them.

"I won't let you hurt my friend."

"Stand aside, RJ."

"No."

RJ pulled out his golf club, and raised it at them.

"Don't come any closer."

"Don't do this, RJ."

"I will. I'm telling you he's innocent."

Ozzie pulled out a hocky stick, and aimed it at Verne. RJ aimed his club at Ozzie. Hammy then pulled out a small BB gun and aimed it at RJ.

It happened quickly. Ozzie hit Verne, throwing him into a tree. RJ swung his club at Ozzie, hitting him in the head. Hammy fired BB pellets at RJ, and as RJ fell, he swung his club at Hammy, also hitting him in the head.

RJ fell to the ground, and then saw what he had done. He had hit both Ozzie & Hammy too hard, the impact killed them both. RJ began to cry, and cra-  
wled over to Verne, and said,

"Are you okay?"

"Not really."

"I killed them both. I'm a monster."

"It was an accident."

"I still killed them."

"RJ...I was the rat."

RJ stared at Verne, and tears began to pour down his face. He swung his club at Verne's head, killing him.

Epilogue

RJ looked around. He killed all three of them, and he was truly a monster.  
He then lifted up Hammy's BB gun, and pressed it up against his head. He fired.

END. 


End file.
